There is a growling in my heart. A yearning for fulfillment. A want for more. I am weak. I need more. I am not hungry. I am starving. Starving for Jesus.
Think about the number of times throughout the day where we think to ourselves, man I’m hungry. And so we easily go grab a snack from the kitchen and go on: full. But how often throughout the day do we think to ourselves, man I’m hungry for Jesus? And then easily go open our Bibles and eat up the abundance of food that the Lord has for us? And the crazy thing is, is that the food supply from Jesus is endless and unlimited, we’re just too caught up in our daily lives to realize it. The tough part about it all though, is sometimes even when you’ve eaten some of it, you don’t always feel full.
I’ve been stuck in this stagnant place where I am very happy and content with life lately, where I haven’t really had to depend on God that much. Even though there has been blessings, I have found myself still. This word is so hard to grasp: being still. And in all honesty I don’t like it at all. If you’re anything like me, we want to constantly be pushed or challenged by God and when that doesn’t happen it’s a phase of “well what do I do now?” It’s a frustrating place to be, but now I’m starting to figure it out.
I’m starting to enjoy this, this concept of being “still”. I’m learning to appreciate it, because I know that soon one day God is going to completely ROCK. MY. WORLD. And He will do that in His time. I am a stress-er and planner through and through, but I am learning to kind of let life do it’s thing for a while, and I have to tell you it’s a pretty relaxing feeling. I’m learning to trust more in what God is doing, because I’m sure He is cooking up something great for my life, it just isn’t time yet. I’m learning to be present in what is happening right now, and not worry about all that is to come. I’m learning to not get so wrapped up in homework, social media, and school, and just roll with the punches, because it’s going to work out, it always does. I’m learning to be happy with this whole “being still” thing, and really appreciating the little blessings that God provides each and every day. I’m learning to love better, be more intentional, and share Jesus in a whole new way.
So, I’m being patient (for once in my life), and just waiting for the Lord to guide my paths. Instead of getting frustrated in these stagnant times, take them as a blessing and learn from them, because there’s a reason God wants you to experience it. I am hungry but I am patient, and I can’t wait to see the ways the Lord is going to feed me.
Psalm 63:1 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water.